steph,
I think that you have a very interesting thesis about how we are becoming brainwashed. I think if you were to elaborate on the point about places like starbucks providing internet to attract customers and more money, would be a very good point in your paper. one suggestion I have is to not say that we have turned into zombies. I think you should say that we have become entranced by technology and that we are imprisoned by technology and once it fails us we panic. overall i think you can have a potentially strong paper if you can create strong arguments.
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