something that you can add to this main idea of yours is that we have expectations that have to or need to be met. On any level, kids are usually following paths that other people have paved for them. You should read the article that says somethings about how black kids like to buy prada shoes instead of saving for college. Also explore more about how you see it in your life, like how kids now are all into polo clothes and how maybe someone with more polo is cooler than another person. If you check out my blog post number 34 in the last paragrah i talk about an article that would maybe benifit you and give you evidence for your paper. Also i think you should check your spelling. Once you do that, i think your paper will be great.
Leah's main idea: " I feel like we push ourselves to be this "cool" person, but what happens when its over? there nothing more than pure emptiness.
Leah:Yo have a very interesting idea going. I think you should add some evidence. Also add something like, viktor frankl and how he explained meaninglessness as a vaccum and we need to always put things in it to get a sense of a temporary happiness.. If you check out my blog post number 30 in the last paragrah, first couple sentences i quote him. you should read it and maybe add it to your paper. Also check your grammer for any little mistakes. Overall good job.
Ean: "everyone tries to be cool in their own way. sometimes changing themselves completely, but the end result will always be the same having some type of loneliness."
I think your main idea is good. i think you should make it sharper. Maybe you can say something, like, as we pursue this idea of cool, we forget what we value and no longer live our own way, but in a way that was paved throughout the years. This gives us a sense of satisfaction, but also makes us lonely in our lives.
one thing i suggest is to check your grammer, and add evidence to make your points sharp and true. overall, good start.
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